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The more of this or less of this or is there any difference
Or are we just holding onto the things we don't have anymore.
Sometimes time doesn't heal
Just stand still while we fall
welcome

welcome to undecipherable-xiaojunn.blogspot.com! (click on the above lyrics to navigate!):D
LOVE ME or
HATE ME,
it's still an OBSESSION
(more?:D)

Sunday, November 23, 2008, 15:59

I'm sort of done with my packing.
I'm overwhelmed with disappointment, sadness, anger and loneliness.
Do you know how I really feel?


In case you don't know how I experienced it from my point of view, here it goes.
I queued up so long for my food after we've decided to eat at the vegetarian stall.
And then when I put my plate of food down, everyone was standing, as though they were leaving. Changwei got interrupted by me as I removed my bag on which he was putting his arm on. Then, as I sat down, no one told me where they were going, what they were planning to do. You don't expect me to read all your minds, do you? It'll be tiring.
So since I bought my food, I sat down and started eating by myself as I watched all of you, one by one, leaving me, only to see your back view. I felt cheated, I felt lost. I felt so lonely and disappointed that no one, none at all, actually remembered I was there, I existed. No one bothered to leave me a message as to what they were doing. I accepted the fact the whole bunch of you left me. And the sadness turned to tears as I ate my lunch. I just couldn't stand it.
It's heartwrenching, to some extent. It hurts, for sure.

Then I hastily ate up my lunch as Sunny korkor joined me. He was wondering why I was alone. Me, myself, was also wondering. I went back to church, late, but still early. Took out chimes scores and placed them on your seats. I couldn't stand it, so I sat and started tearing as I listened to my iPod. What friends.

Later on, yall planned to go chompchomp for dinner. Did anyone bothered to ask me where I'd like to go? Yall just planned and informed me. But if yall really really wanted to know what happened to me, or just even, be excited about it and pester me for an answer, I'd give. But..

This is just a sad thing. Right before I leave. I know now, that none will miss me.
Anger, disappointment, sadness, loneliness. LOST.

I'm so sorry Jennifer that I affected you and even eventually, cancelled our meetup. So sorry. I just wasn't feeling that well to go out with you. Thank you, anyway. I'll miss you and get something for you in Shanghai.

Thank you and sorry Mummy too.

A few more hours and I'll be off.
Do you have anything to say?
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