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The more of this or less of this or is there any difference
Or are we just holding onto the things we don't have anymore.
Sometimes time doesn't heal
Just stand still while we fall
welcome

welcome to undecipherable-xiaojunn.blogspot.com! (click on the above lyrics to navigate!):D
LOVE ME or
HATE ME,
it's still an OBSESSION
(more?:D)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 15:49

HELLO.

today was like normal i guessed.
reached school.
had morning assembly.
the flags reached about the same time,
cedar flag nearly overtook national flag.
the piano girl screwed up.
RCY did morning reflections.
I saw VP mdm hazlinda. she looked solemn. compared to normal.
then she made an announcement for teachers to go theatrette for a short meeting.
then normal lessons.
but mrs gay came in late & solemn.
the school had a weird atmosphere.

then the bell for TOP rang.
Mr chia told us to go to the library instead of the hall for cultural week.
then when we reached the library,
all the head of departments were there.
all the important people.
the big shots.
we were all scared.
spectulating what was going to happen.
then we were told to be seated at a corner.
then suddenly,
the 2 VPs & Mrs Ouyang came in.
we were all very solemn and scared.
cause before that, the teachers told us they had something solemn to announce.


then came THE NEWS.
Mrs Ouyang: "I'm very sorry to make this announcement. It was very sudden.
Mrs Serene Ng has passed away. All your teachers were shocked about this news too. but i'm sure mrs serene ng & all of us would like you all to be strong and pull yourself together..."
MRS SERENE NG. dead?!
She was pregnant.
How could it be?
are they kidding?
we last saw her on monday..
she was suppose to have lessons with us yesterday to revise for exams, but she didnt.
oh how we blamed her.
but it was true. she had passed away last evening. with news only to our school early this morning.
they said that ytd she called up the school to say she was not feeling well and asked the teachers to take over her duties. in the afternoon she could still sms the other teachers. but in the evening, her amniotic fluid somehow, because of complications, flowed into her lungs. therefore, she passed away.

the school has planned for us to attend her funeral tmr afternoon.

by the time they finish, they left us to grieve and cry like shit.
so 3S for once was silently sobbing away.
all of us were guilty.
we were not nice to her. neither were we cooperative.
now that shes gone, it's too late.
WE'RE SORRY MRS NG.
WE APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAD DONE FOR US.

now,
i hear her voice ringing in my ears.
I have flashbacks of her.
her looks, her expressions...

our first lesson.
the piece of paper, with a table for us to fill in.
fit a classmate with the citeria listed..

i'm in control
i still remember the time which we went onto the straits times website to research on the racial harmony thingy. then i was the only one who found it. then she frozed my other classmates' conputer screens and i was the only one who could control it.. it was fun. a privilege. an honour.

& thank you mrs ng for all the high marks you gave me to get an A for english (:


you are pretty great.
& your love & determination for your child to live on is admirable.
it was out of motherly love.
you made much contributions to the school,
committment and dedication as a teacher, our teacher,
and made history & mark on our life.
the memories of you will stay on with us.

sometimes, i feel that she will be back like normal,
making us go to TMP, comp labs, or even stay in class.
I feel as if tmr if we go back to school,
she'll be there.

and just now during recess,
some of us were discussing how irresponsible she was.
and how we hoped she wont be teaching us next year.
I guess she wont. and she will not be able to.
i feel sorry for what i said.
even if i didnt really mean it.

this whole thing has changed 3S's attitude & perspective of things.
many things.




oh how i wish life will be normal.
if possible, perfect.
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