<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/31793338?origin\x3dhttp://undecipherablee.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
The more of this or less of this or is there any difference
Or are we just holding onto the things we don't have anymore.
Sometimes time doesn't heal
Just stand still while we fall
welcome

welcome to undecipherable-xiaojunn.blogspot.com! (click on the above lyrics to navigate!):D
LOVE ME or
HATE ME,
it's still an OBSESSION
(more?:D)

Sunday, October 26, 2008, 14:05

I dare you to love.

I have many thoughts going through my mind daily. Well, maybe it's a form of procrastination or escaping from stress. I'm certainly getting all the stress symptoms, small little actions I'm starting to hate, down with germs, dryness of hair, whatsoever. sighs.

Today's Sunday school was about knowing God. It was really nice. And I agree with what Rongsen laoshi said about it being a two-way thing. Like making friends, when you want to be someone's friend, you would tell the person a lot, hoping the person would open up his/her heart and tell you things too. You would try your best to learn what the person likes or dislike. You would change yourself to be like that person. That was what I had been doing I guess. But it got me thinking. After I did so much, what did I get back? Are these people my friends as much as they claim they are? Well, no one really open up their hearts to me. I've been opening up my heart to people but they're not reciprocating. Are they truly my friends? You tell me to tell you things. But have you ever told me what's going on in your life, how you feel about some issues? I have to be the proactive one if I really want to know. You don't come to me automatically. Do you actually know how much I want to know you?

Maybe I should learn how to lock my thoughts up. Lock my heart up. Put it in an ice box. And when I finally do that, I will need to learn how not to give the key away easily lest it gets taken out and becomes broken. I don't know why but I'm feeling sorry for myself. It appears that I have everything. But is it true? I feel alone even as I'm in the crowd. I feel empty. My friends are like sand. Many little pieces, but as the wind blows, they slip away through my fingers and over time, what I've been holding onto, is nothingness.

What should I do for my holidays?
Currently, these are my activities:
-Shopping for winter wear+ clothes
-Trim my hair
-Trip to the dentist
-HSM3
-Essencevale! :DD
-The Hills
-Going out with Dad for my iPod touch! :DD
-Shanghai (24Nov-6Dec)
-BFFs outing! :DD
-XuRui's birthday
-Mission trip rehearsal/training
-Mission trip (23-31Dec)
-Chimes and Chimes and Chimes anniversary +x'mas rehearsal
-xmas concert
-countdown?

I guess that's all? [:
Cause no one else wants to go out with me yahh. That's so pathetic.




back to top